it really hit me today the absoluteness of how much i disbelieve in good and bad

i miss being really tired and mom or dad carrying me upstairs and walking me through brushing my teeth and getting my jammies on..now i dont even wear clothes to bed. yesterday we went to see prince of persia and go to walmart. i couldnt find any tweezers, plastic drawers are expensive, and the movie was extremely kickass. the plot and action were good, and there were even a few giggles. at first i thought the inaccuracies would make me not like it, but i soon forgot about the persian princess with her british accent and all that :) while i was bathing both the kitties decided they needed to be in there too, and later when i went in the bathroom for other purposes they decided i needed company there too. it was pretty adorable and reminded me of madonna..mom says she doesnt want me to have her here because of route 6, which makes sense but i wouldnt just let her run around without watching. then she goes on to talk about how the landlord might feel..it seems like she tries to come up with reasons for things more than she has already thought them through, which could mean a few things. but its not that important. im tired and once i get a job i cant be staying up this late..

have you ever seen the full red moon in a lightning storm that drowned her light?

why cant there be a life of spiritual and material bliss?

and what if life was starrted by lightning, which is replicated in each new life?

my hero

ive realized i have one, and its kinof a big thing to me. i really love people, one of my friends told me that its like i want everyone to be my friend. i just think were a pretty cool species. but i never thought that anybody possesed enough qualities i find admirable for me to look up to them. but yes..theres this person that i find to be completely amazing. i know people say that alot, but it seems like when they do theyre simply infatuated, or in love. i guess it could be said i love them, but..it seems like more than that. i look up to him :3

but enough with that. i went exploring out back, and theres all these woods and a creek and i can see myself having alot of fun. but today i sat on my butt all day..it hurt. things have been pretty social and i might get a job soon, things are looking up. i even made a poem D: ...

between two streams i found a citadel of dragons

the sun was shining, they loathed the cool

i had no offering, no gems, no maidens, no lore

i had only to mark in me the feeling

of things gone before.

it was neat seeing them..most things dont matter, but i still feel like i want to know them. some things i just know have a meaning that im not getting, and i feel that i need to get it..its like im losing an opportunity

awesome video

http://dagobah.biz/flash/resurrection.swf

watch the whole thing

to start with

i kept thinking i was gonna get really into blogging again, but now that i go to to it it isnt sparking the same fire. i keep finding all this stuff from years ago and am a little embarassed, but i still cant help being a little nostalgic.

i feel like anybodys life would make a good story, and hearing other peoples stories is one of my favorite things to do. mine probably arent nearly as interesting, but id still like to record more for the future.

as im typing this im telling someone about how they have to figure out what im doing and find this for themselves. i didnt even say what it is, but i half-jokingly told them that they have to undergo a journey before theyre ready. the link is out in the open, so all hed have to do is look. but still. i dont give these things out to just anybody, if they know me.

thats kinda odd, i wouldnt mind some random person i dont know reading this but someone i do i might feel more like im exposing myself.

well ive gotta mow soon..tonights the night im moving out. i think my main reasoning is that i dont want to be under moms influence anymore. i appreciate her help and know how much she loves me, but i feel very uncomfortable not only going to college this year but doing it with her help and stipulations. maybe its just the teen angst; i still feel like separating myself is something i need to do.