the best things to happen to me

3 weeks in florida

brian empson

marijuana

moody blues concert

im sure theres more, but these are the ones to come right to mind. this doesnt exactly mean theyre the most important, cause my memory kinda sucks. but im sure the rest of the list isnt too long. and i kinda feel like theyre all as important as eachother.

cj is home and hes really happy, which makes me happy :) hes being really friendly and keeps talking about his girl, which makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

on the downside..i havent been regular with my pills. i havent been regular about anything lately, even my period. id like to blame it on the move, and this is the only thing i can think of. but when i think about how chaotic things are, i dont see a direct reason. just me being weird. maybe once i get a job things will settle..

but still, im blue. and whenever this happens i like to list all the possible causes, it really helps. so lets see..theres this guy problem, and a worse guy problem. actually, i think a few of my problems can be grouped together as me wanting too much from my friends. i feel like i want these deep, awesome relationships with everyone. sometimes i feel like i really connect with people, like they think the same as me or i just think theyre awesome. and theres even opportunities for me to have what i want from some people, but its not them i want it from. this isnt a quality i like at all about myself, but i also have a big thing about changing oneself.

it seems like its good to change bad things about oneself, but where do we draw the line?

if i could make it so i can change how i feel about certain people, would i still be happy?

this bugs me alot, even when im not blue.

its late, ill tell about my weekend later.

i read in a book that changed how i think that we should always be hungry for life. the books called 'the pot of gold', i try looking for it online all the time but never find it.