a depressing post

i wasnt feeling great, and then i read some things that were so hopelessly closed minded i got stuck in one of my swirls of depression. neither of the people i love being comforted by most were online, so i sat here and festered..eventually decided to sleep. heres whats mainly bugging me

I. civilization/society

A. its destruction of everything in the world but itself

B. its acceptance of this because of

a. thinking we are superior

b. ignorance

II. a friend not talking to me

A. he is ok

a. he doesnt feel a need to talk to me, which is actually only bad cause of C

B. isnt ok

a. he has someone who cares as much as i do (i hope) to talk with

b. he's holding it in..

C. i miss him

a. im distressed

on I, michael assures me i dont need to worry, and my friend tells me of taking steps to get to know myself before i take action, yet i still fret..i try to comfort myself with these things and the thought that in the end the earth will still be here, and someday a race like ours may pop up again but wont fuck everything up as much

its mostly times like these when i feel lonely..if i just went to sleep id feel better but i want to talk to certain people so bad